the other day after 72 hours of being bed ridden in a room that had
began to reak of the city morgue i decided that it had to end. i had
already missed the motorhead show in nyc the night before was quite
perturbed.
so i borrowed tinos van and drove to asbury park to see the final show
of their 2008 tour. i was kind of weary of the transpot. the van
is sort of a pull me over machine. (see below)

i think that day i also had exactly enough money to go and come back.
no frills. just thrills.
so off i was to a place i had always heard of but never been to. me and
ol' mapquest.


the door is bungied shut.

yeahh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i got there way early some how. i thought the van was going to break
apart. but it made it. when i was circling the parking lot there were
teenagers smoking weed screaming "neeccckkkkkkkfaaace! get over here"
i parked. said hello. i think they figured out that i was indeed not
neckface. i walked around on the boardwalk. its got a land
of the lost vibe. bikers. boarded up landmarks. and a hotel bar
called Ketchup.
i went into that place thinking i could get a cheaper beer and watch a
game or something . it was an elderly crowd. well not too elderly. they
were in their 40's to 60's if i had to guess. as i walked up to
the bar to order a drink i realized that there was not a single woman
in the place and right about then the bartender says "hey georgeous
what'll it be?"
gay bar alert!!!!!!!
i shrunk back pulled a 180 and calmly walked out. i didnt
want to seem rudely homophobic.

so i finally went into the show. stoked to see Metal Chyld
buyin some brews and smokn reds. love you man!

valient thor was pretty damn good. i dig their vibe even though
the lead singer playgerizes 90 percent of the moves from my golden
years of partying.
THEN WITH OUT FURTHER FUCKING ADUE.............

yep.

all time favorite band ever.

road dogs

yeahhhhhhh jerseyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!
n

around this point im front row, by myself thinking i've hit a grand
slam. which on any normal day this would be. but then someone
taps me on the shoulder screaming "manute manute!"
its bridget from nyc. she says she's "lemmy gave me vip passes you
wanna hang with the band after?"
"he what!? jesus christ! yes"


so there's bridget. and warren from valient thor. in these
situations a guy like me has nothing to offer but a hard lurk. im not a
mucisian, im not there to shoot for a mag. im mooching off their
catering and shuffling around in the corner like an asshole.
luckily i know angela boatwright who happens to know everyone. so
i turned to warren and said i knew angela and blah blah suddenly my
lurk status had been down graded from terrable to not so terrable.

then i saw lemmy's bass.

then this guy had a shirt that was photo worthy. very direct.
then........... the moment of truth. wel there were a series of
moments i would call the moment of truth that night. hail mary
after hail mary was scoring a touch down for me. all except the Ketchup
incident.
i was led into the dressing room. i hear lemmy talking but i dont
see him. then, well then i saw lemmy walk past me in black tighty
whities drinking a yingling. and he looked at me looking at him.
i wanted to die. is this how im gonna meet my hero and we'll he be
bummed?
i walked outside with the others. i had to regroup.
let lemmy dress himself.
then i went back. and thats when shit went off!

my first attempt at a clean photo poach and the geezer busted me from
20 feet away pointing the elf i rent-to-owned from my mom at him.
that was many words.
it was the second awkard exchange with him. fuck.

then bridget said to lemmy "this is manute. can he take our picture?"
so i stuck my hand out to shake his hand. his right hand had
bridget and the left had a camel red. so he extended his thumb to
me. and to continue with the parade of follies i shook the mans
thumb.
eventually i was able to discuss maxfish and the hawkwind cd that
is in the juke box with him. he was very interested in knowing which
"lp" it was. i said it had silver machine and urban guerillas on
it. suddenly i wasnt nervous. he scratched his head and thought for a
moment then said "ahh must be a compilation. " and thats totally
true,
then he told a micheal jackson joke. i noticed. no one really gets
nervous around him he's a very disarming individual. its like dealing
with the epic uncle that comes over for thangsgiving that all the
children hover around hoping to hear stories from.

the guy. jesus. liscence to fondle at will

for nearly 45 minutes i sat drinking a beer acorss from him thinking
"if i get a photo with him im gonna need to have a smoke."
i was anxious.
i sat down next to him and he muttered "ahhh i get it, being tall
is YOUR tool"
it was not one grandslam it was 9 or even 10 grandslams.
best day of my completly fucked up 2008
all other days have pailed in comparison to this one.

thank you jebus,