NIGHT TWO IN LISBON:
THE SOUNDTRACK OF THE MIDDLE FINGER
(and some random photos i took in america)

                            
Dave Ranson, Chinatown. 2006                                                            Logan Hill. New Bedford, Mass. 2002


                        
Frankie. Ave A, NYC 2004                                                                Matt Mazza. Newport, RI 2004





After a dismal display of website enthusiasm I’ve began the updating process.  Today I am updating from Lisbon, Portugal. Long story but I’ll explain it as concisely as possible.  I am out here with Tino Razo, Ben Cho, and Patrick O’Dell. We were brought here to DJ a party entitled The Sounds Of New York.   I’m no DJ and probably don’t like the same music they were expecting but when a lady named Eduarda calls you telling she wants to you fly to Portugal, pay you and put you up for five days you keep your trap shut unless uttering the word “Yes”. 
Every few months or so Metro Newspaper throws these parties in different cities in the world. I think the one before this was done in Sweden.  Anyhow Tino and I were the “Hip Hop DJ’s from New York”. 
This is a lot of pressure when you think about it.  Europeans don’t like what I like in my experience. I figured we’d have to get on the microphone and give the same speech that Marty McFly had to give after he did a 9 minute guitar solo at the Enchantment Under The Sea Ball in Back To The Future because (you know the one where he says “uhhhh you’re kid’s will probably like this”), and this yet another reason to hate me as an American if you’re not but people outside of NYC are usually about 6-12 months late on cool shit coming out of NYC and the rest of the world is about a year and a half behind that and by the time it gets to them is usually all fucked up. I’m a dickhead for thinking this but I feel it’s pretty true.
We didn’t get a chance to give the speech. Some how it was the cast of the European Sex And The City who introduced us to the crowd.
“Here are Chris Shonting and Tino Razoooooooooo!!!!! To play hip-hop from New York City! Give it up!”
Jesus Christ.  Ok so given this I must also point out that the average age of the crowd was near 35-45. But there were people there in their 60’s even.  Some of the 45 year olds were doing coke in the bathroom before the event even started. I thought that that was a good sign oddly enough. At least the crowd might be lively.
So after the introduction they proceeded to hand out glow sticks.  Oh and they don’t like hip-hop here. They only like Michael Jackson. They express their discontent with such music by standing in front of the dj booth and booing or flicking you off or by requesting you to come down and talk to them at which point they tell you that the music sucks.
I figured we could win the crowd over by playing 50cent’s “In The Club”.   Well, it did and it didn’t.  Some people began to dance but most continued to stand there with a blank look on their face. Then the event coordinator takes it upon herself to rally up a very agitated tone of voice and request 50cent.  I explained to her that that is what we were playing right that second and she responded with “ok whatever just play more!”
Finally Ben and Patrick had to bail us out so we could go into seclusion. By the end of the night I was spotted pouring my drink on the event coordinators arm while demanding money from her. She told me to invoice her. So I stole a poster of Frankie.
That was just the party.  The rest of the time so far has been great.  It’s just that I realized dj’ing, as a profession is an unenviable job.  It’s actually hard. 
Oh and Portuguese women look beautiful but since I’m relatively mute since I got here due to the language barrier that I’m not even sure really exist I haven’t been able to talk to any for more than a second.
Today I am going to make a honest effort to talk to them. I will report on my progress.